The call came one week before the prime time Emmys would be held. My manager tells me that E! wants me to do a short comedy bit for the Pre-Emmy Show on E!. I was so excited. The first thing that most females think about is “what will I wear?” but not me, I was thinking “What will I say?” E! scheduled a phone conference with me to discuss the material but they gave me no idea what to cover so I decided to look up some info and write some jokes myself. While I was doing that, I started to wonder, “What will I wear?” This is the prime time Emmys, everyone looks so great. I didn’t have an outfit for the red carpet. My manager says,” Let’s put out some calls to see if a designer will dress you”. I started thinking, “yeah right, who will want to dress me?”..Well turns out, I had several people willing to dress a plus size funny ball like me! I was so honored. I chose Maggie Barry because I remembered that I was doing a field piece for the Chelsea Lately show for LA fashion Week and I had interviewed Maggie. She was very nice and had a cool spirit. When I found out that she would design me a dress, I was thrilled!! I had 3days to have a dress made for me and Maggie never complained. We met and talked. She looked at me on video so when I met with her, she had an idea already in her wonderful mind. I was wearing a blue t-shirt and she looked at me and said, ” That is the blue I was thinking about you wearing so that is my sign!” Maggie sat down and started sketching a dress. I was blown away. She made it seem so simple that I knew it would be okay. I left Maggie and had to get on the conference call with E! about the bit. After looking at the Emmy nominees and reading other things, I wrote about 5 jokes. They wanted 3 so I figured I would give them some options. There were a team of folks on the phone. E! has always wanted to try the comedy bit thing in the past, so they decided to see what would happen with me. The producer asked if I had written anything and I said yes…I went through my jokes and they loved them! Now that I knew what I was going to say, I just needed to get my look together. Sunday arrived before I knew it!!! My dress was not ready until Sunday morning at 10 am…I was suppose to at the red carpet 10 am!!! I rushed home, the driver waited and I gather my stuff and was on my way!! Makeup, hair and putting on the dress was all a rush to me. The make up artist had worked with me before and brought some rhinestone eyelashes just for me. Hey, a little bling couldn’t hurt. It was sooooo hot and I was in the skybox. My time slot was 2:10 pm. Catt Sadler was my interviewer…we had a quick rehearsal. Catt was so nice to me. Action, and we were on the air! The first thing Catt said to me was, ” Show everybody your Rhinestone eyelashes!” My bit was over at 2:15 ..my producer said I did good. As I walked to the trailer, Ryan Seacrest was sitting waiting to be driven his spot..he shouted…”Loni good work and I loved the eyelashes!! ” That was enough for me…
How to be a good feature act
To all of you up and coming comics, I have a bit of advice on how to be a good feature comic. First of all, a feature comic is a comic that goes on before the headliner. I had featured for many comics before headlining clubs. I learned alot from Tommy Davidson, Charlie Murphy, Eddie Griffin, D.L. Hughley, Chris Tucker to name a few. First of all, stay out the the headliner’s way, they are too worried about their set to put up with you. Second, stick to your time, if you are given 15 minutes, do 15 minutes. The audience is there to see the headliner not you. Third, don’t step on the headliners subjects in other words, if the headliner is talking about his baby’s momma, don’t you talk about your baby’s momma. ( I am girl so I don’t have that problem). Fourth, don’t try to blow the headliner out. Meaning, if you are having a good set, enjoy yourself, but remember your 15-20 minutes should be a warm up for the headliner not the command performance.
Why am I giving out this advice? Simple, I am tired of some headliners giving jobs to comics that are really open mike comics that are so bad, the headliner THINKS that it makes him/her look good. Headliners have to realize that a good opening act can only make their show better. We up and coming comics are trying to make it and we need the work, the money, and the stage time.
How to showcase
How to start performing at colleges and universities
For all of you up and coming (UAC) comics, money can be tight. Most UAC comics can not head line at clubs due to the fact that they can’t sell tickets. How can a UAC comic make money to survive while working on the fame? COLLEGES. Now a lot of comics don’t like performing for colleges because the comic may have an act that is not responsive to students. Well, for you the struggle will continue, but for those that have an hour of clean, decent material, the college route can help you survive until you get to the next level. First off, you need a good college agent. They take anywhere from 10-20 percent commission, but most of the good colleges only work with agencies so it is no way around them. Next, the agent will probably get you to showcase for the college board NACA. NACA have showcases for different regions all around the country. You have to pay about $800 dollars to showcase but the thing about NACA is that they will book you for the year (I had one comic friend book 42 shows at a NACA showcace) so the $800 is worth it. Colleges pay anywhere from $1500 and up for a one nighter. Most of the time you book your own travel and hotel but hey, you will be getting more for one night at a college that a week featuring at a club. You may perform in a lunch room, student basement, a hallway, but who cares, you are getting paid. I have found the students to be very refreshing and fun. They come to laugh and have a good time so just keep your act clean and simple. Good luck!
How to Pitch a show
Pitching a show is when you have a meeting scheduled with a network or studio for a potential idea. First of all, have an idea that is orginal, entertaining and funny. Look inside your self as a comic and ask, what would I want to see on the internet, tv or big screen. Next, try to soft pitch it to your friends or management. Soft pitch, means not a real pitch, just have a conversation with them and slip it in to see if there is some interest. Next, look at the idea and decide what network or channel it would work for. For all you guys, you have plenty of choices, Spike, G4. For all you country music lovers, you have GMC, CMT. For you gay people you have Logo and Bravo. Blacks you have BET, TV1, and my white brothers and sisters have all the channels!!! Any way, decide on the idea and then try to get a meeting with the channel or network. Usually it is with the vice president of development, the president of the network…anybody else, well it is just a nice meeting. Now when you get the meeting, be prepared. Have a beginnng, middle and end. Have jokes( you are a comic), light up the room with your personality and be able to answer any questions. Have eye contact with the boss, every body else will just agree with the boss. But most of all, be yourself. Don’t plead and beg, your idea is yours and it is great, it just may not be for that network at that time, so just find the right place for it. Right now it is hard times on America, it is our duty as entertainers to help people forget about losing there jobs, homes, bank closings, iraq war…..we have a lot of work to do!!!
Welcome to the new website
- Hello everyone!! This is my new website so please come back often…we will be having a good time on the Love Train!!
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